Philosophies of a clarinet player

In my observations, there are three basic types of couples, not including pure neutral which rarely occurs anyway. These are the titles I have given them:

1. "Get a room"
2. "Dramatic rolling of the eyes"
3. "You could put someone in a diabetic coma"

Translation:

1. The relationship is purely or overwhelmingly physical in nature. There seems to be no solid foundation and is doomed to fail.
2. The relationship is pretty decent all around, but still heavy on the physical aspect. These are the people who are often overly affectionnate in public. At least there's a foundation outside of the physical stuff, and so though it might be hard at times these can endure.
3. I generally think of these as the cute old couples. You know who they are. You may never see them more than hold hands in public, but there's something about them that's far deeper than the other people out there. A wrecking ball couldn't separate these couples, and neither could one of them being called to the other side of the world for a time. It's a superglued relationship. When they said "til death do they part", they meant it.

I've now seen all three of these. I've never been a part of any of these, and don't expect to, as I have difficulty understanding any of them.