Book, book, vain of my existence

Elisabeth Elliot must have been one of the most blessed graduating college students ever. She knew exactly what the object of her affections thought of her. Also, they both agreed marriage wasn't God's will a the time. Singleness and knowing someone cares about you? The best of both worlds!

So, if more than one person ever reads this, you are probably all calling me a sick puppy right now. She was completely torn inside over the situation, but one must realize that I don't desire marriage. I am, however lonely and would like very much to have any friends with whom I could spend time. I'm not attractive, nor has any reasonable guy ever been attracted to me. And so, I would joyfully take Matthew 19:12, if such a verse could apply to girls as well as guys. The problem with this, though, is reading such books and trying diligently to seek God has taken me closer to the other path. Mind you, from a purely academic perspective, it is good to learn new things. From the neutral, Jedi-like point of view, one needs to understand people in order to better help them. I do not, however, like the unbidden side effect of growing affections. It shouldn't matter anyway, as no reasonable guy could fall for me, but it is driving me insane. The more I try to do God's will, the more this becomes a problem. If this is simply a test, then I have and continue to fail. It is difficult caring about people knowing most want little if anything to do with you. It isn't difficlt to car, but it is difficult to deal with caring. It's painful I'd rather a person be completly honest with me, even if they don't want anything to do with me, but please, don't keep reminding me! I am not dense. I will not forget what you have said to me. On the other hand, if things change, I would also like to be told, as I will continue to assume what is told to me until told otherwise, even if actions contradict the words.

Completely random, as this poor brick of bread seriously needs some leven. I now have a level 30 gnome mage on World of Warcraft. I will cease playing on Jan 15 to focus on college, but have found this game very thereaputic. It allows me to interact with people without them focusing on my appearance. Well, girls are seriously outnumbered in this game, and my little lvl 30 gnome mage is pretty cute with her lilac pig tails. I don't like random guys heavily flirting with her, though. Last night some guy kept blowing kisses to her, but wasn't being helpful. grrr I think that I will post a picture of both of my characters before I kill my subscription for awhile.